In the most highly anticipated NHL matchup in the South Bay, the Sharks take on the Blue Jackets to see who is less awful enough to claim the prize of not losing to the other team. How many empty seats are there going to be? How many witty tweets about low attendance and the Sharks moving to Seattle? Which number will be bigger?
I don't care, and neither do you. So let's cut the crap and talk about something more important.
BoC Night at Staples Center, 12/22, Sharks @ Kings
That's right, motherfuckers, I'm going to be in The Southland! for Christmas, and I decided to buy tickets to the game where Lucic will inevitably score a hat-trick (boarding, Couture, in his first game back; charging, Hertl (injured), roughing double minor, Couture again). But whatever, it's hockey, and hopefully we'll recreate the BoC logo with 33.3% fewer females this time (though I'll wear a bow in my hair, I don't care).
Are you around the southern California area on December 22nd? Would you like to come drink with us before, during, and after the game? You would? Great! Buy some tickets, or sneak in, or suddenly develop NHL-level talent and sign a mid-season contract with the Sharks or Kings.
More details as we get closer, but we'll probably meet before the game at the Hotel Figueroa for drinks, go to the game, get stabbed, and end up at Good Samaritan Hospital, where a makeshift wake will occur. RIP, us, we sucked, then we died.
Oh right, this game. Uggh.
Blue Jackets @ Sharks
7:30 PM Pacific
Prediction: A game of hockey is barely played.
Here's some good Ohio-related internet content.
Shit, Kelly, play the hell out of that chord.