On Friday, the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council (which is a real thing for some reason?) passed a ruling the officially conclude that Hot Dogs are not sandwiches, something that we all already figured out and there was no real debate on anyway.
The council, an authority on the matter, ruled that hot dogs in fact transcend sandwiches, occupying a higher level. "Limiting the hot dog’s significance by saying it’s ‘just a sandwich’ is like calling the Dalai Lama ‘just a guy.’ Perhaps at one time its importance could be limited by forcing it into a larger sandwich category (no disrespect to Reubens and others), but that time has passed," the council's president, Janet Riley, said in a statement. "We therefore choose to take a cue from a great performer and declare our namesake be a 'hot dog formerly known as a sandwich.'"
Say what you will about the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council (but not here, I don't really care about your thoughts on the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council), but they're not the hot dog authority I trust. For all disputes, hot dogs or otherwise, the man I trust is Judge John Hodgman. If, like a normal person, you obsessively listen to Hodgman's podcast, you already know how he feels about hot dogs and sandwhiches. But for the uninitiated, here's some brief insight, taken from a piece he wrote for the New York Times:
ERIN WRITES: "My best friend, Dennis, and I have been arguing about whether or not a hot dog is a sandwich. I say that only a total pedant would ever think of a hot dog as a sandwich, which Dennis is. Dennis says that I can’t just decide something isn’t what it is because I think otherwise. Is a hot dog a sandwich or not?"
Let me apply the wisdom of Solomon: If your friend’s hot dog is a sandwich, why doesn’t he just cut it in half? HE CAN’T, CAN HE? Because it is not a sandwich, but a hot dog, indivisible and sui generis — a culinary anomaly so compelling that we actually eat it, even when it is cooked in a tank on a cart.
This is What Sandwiches Look Like
For those of you unfamiliar with sandwiches and still might believe that a hot dog might be a sandwich, here are some photos of actual sandwiches. As you can see, hot dogs aren't in the same ballpark...
So that settles it.
Saturday, Nov 7, 2015, 10:30 PM EST
SAP Center at San Jose - San Jose, CA
To take up space in my gameday posts this season, so that I don't have to write so much, you'll be getting a glimpse of my playlist while I write this garbage.
Today I'm listening to: Alessia Cara - "Here"