Sharks Gameday: Feel like Malkin love.

The Pittsburgh conundrum: it's a team that has been gifted so many generational talents, who have led the team to many championships in the last 30 years, which has led to lots of national media exposure, but are always on the verge of going bankrupt and doing stupid, stupid shit.

Why is Evgeni Malkin always involved in trade rumors? I mean, a few of the more durped out local media members here in the Bay Area have been intent on trading Patrick Marleau, so I get it. Except that Malkin has accomplished what the Durps criticize Marleau about: he won the damn Cup, while also routinely carrying the team when the other superstar was out with injury. Why do the fans and media in Pittsburgh hate good players so much?

Well, whatever. We all know he's going to get traded even-steven for Dustin Brown.

How are the Sharks doing?

Well, supposedly Justin Braun is going to return tonight, helping shore up our defense. You see how our bottom pairing fared against the Hawks the other night? Maybe our defensive depth needs some upgrading. Danius Zubrus has been on the fourth line, which is good, and should continue. There should be a Danius-proof forcefield in between the fourth line and the 3rd to contain him there. Mike Brown continues to suck at hockey in limited minutes and oh god why does this never change?

But holy shit, did you see how Hertl, Nieto, and Wingels owned the Flams the other night? That was fun. Let's forget about how they played against Chicago.

Penguins vs. Sharks
7:30 PM Pacific

Prediction: David Perron emerges from a swamp and devours Martin Jones whole. I continue to giggle at the name of the Pittsburgh backup goalie: J. Zatkoff.