We all know that Sidney Crosby survives solely off of and is made entirely up of mayonnaise. It came out in Sports Illustrated, and the world has been repulsed ever since. I just don't think that hockey was ready for a player to be that openly mayo. But what about the rest of the Penguins?
Phil Kessel is fifteen sticks of butter.
Pascal Dupuis is ketchup because never mind actually.
Ben Lovejoy is cottage cheese because he is the god damn worst.
Rob Scuderi is Vaseline, because he lets opposing forwards slide right by.
Chris Kunitz is left over hot dog water that collects at the bottom of the packaging.
The Kings are on a nice little winning streak, which in the Pacific division that could mean only back to back wins or a dozen overtime loses in a row. But nope. The Kings have actually strung together five wins. Though three of those have come via three-on-three and I don't think my health insurance covers sports spectating related illnesses. So if they could settle things in regulation, it would be greatly appreciated before I suffer a series of heart attacks.
Prediction: The Kings lose 4-3. But in regulation, so I thank them anyways. Goals by Carter, Brown, and Doughty.