clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Kings Gameday: Ain't winnin' Jack

New, 1 comment

Blame McDavid

He won a teabag here though
He won a teabag here though
Anne-Marie Sorvin-USA TODAY Sports

Buffalo is an unfortunate little town that I legitimately feel sorry for. It's in the forgotten part of New York, where it's basically Canadian (also really sad). It gets buried in fifty feet of snow at least a dozen times a year. Their main export is hot wings, which has been sullied by a chain restaurant that proclaims they are "wild". And then there is the sports. The Bills are a hot mess, whose greatest accomplishment is a "WIDE RIGHT" call. The Sabres...well, it's not pretty with them lately either.

Their history isn't much better, where they lost to a skate in the crease, lost their franchise hall of fame goalie to a team that won a ton with him, and lost the first overall draft pick this past year to an undeserving Edmonton team. That's not to say Jack Eichel is bad. He's been amazing for them so far. But he's never going to win anything in Buffalo.

He won't win the Calder because Connor McDavid has the frozen hillbilly mafia jerking off every play he makes.

He won't win the Rocket ever because there is no supporting cast on the Sabres.

He won't win the Hart because no one really pays attention to the Sabres, even when they're halfway decent.

He won't win a Stanley Cup because, well, it's Buffalo. Even they know how that story goes.

He might win the Lady Byng though, which is too bad because that award only goes to crybabies like that Gretzky loser.

The only option he has is to leave the Sabres. You know you need to let him go, Buffalo. Let him be free. Quit holding him back. It's not fair to him. I know it's hard. I went through the same thing with Jack Johnson. LA had to let him go so he could go fulfill his potential on being a drain on a crappy team. He just couldn't do that on the Kings any longer.

sabres preview

Prediction: Jack Eichel wins the game by scoring the only goal.