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Sharks Gameday: Oh shit, Steve

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In which I forget the Sharks have a back to back and capitalize on "Star Wars" mania.

Steve Palpatine
Steve Palpatine

Since everyone has Star Wars fever, let me just posit something about Star Wars villains.

For some stupid reason, last year they revealed that the Emperor had a first name, and it was "Sheev". I overheard someone talking about this, and thought they said "Steve." Steve Palpatine. Senator Steve Palpatine. Emperor Steve Palpatine. Steve "Darth Sidious" Palpatine. Now, that name is hilarious, and it would do a lot to take the piss from the Star Wars universe, even with all the crappy names in it (Greedo the self-serving flying thing, Han Solo the outsider, Luke Skywalker, etc.).

I guess the new villain's name is Kylo, which sounds like a frat nickname for Kyle. Kyle, evil Jedi bro. "Whoa, Kyle, nice helmet. You in on next weekend's trip to Stowe? We got a sick cabin off AirBnB with a hot tub."

Imagine the exact same movie series, but every single male character has a name from an Ivy League lacrosse team instead of their actual stupid names. So much better, right?

Sharks @ Senators
4:00 PM Pacific

Prediction: Brent and Patty and Joe and Other Joe get ripped on Fireball and pass out in the sauna. Epic.