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Ducks Gameday: Guest Post by Achariya

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Jer tricked some fool into doing his work. Lightning @ Ducks.

Cate Gillon/Getty Images

On Monday, Dunn decided to write about the Leafs instead of writing about LA's opponent for the night, Tampa Bay. One wayward commenter (and Bolts fan) decided this would not do, and attempted to chastise the blog in the comments.

We'll have non of it.

As punishment, she has been forced to write today's Lightning @ Ducks gameday post. What follows is all the work of commenter Achariya...

Monday I was foolish enough to piss off the editorial staff of Battle of California by complaining that in the Kings vs. Bolts post, I had to read about the Maple Leafs and NOT my own team, the Tampa Bay Lightning. The joy of Battle of California is in reading a horrifying invective about your own team that has you crying with shameful laughter while you shake your head, and I'd honestly been looking forward to it all week.

Imagine my incredible disappointment when Get'rDunn decided to write about the Maple Leafs instead.

"The Bolts are boring, and you should be used to getting ignored in favor of the Leafs," Jared replied to my complaint.

Leafs, Leafs, Leafs. Like a medium-well steak, getting all the attention on the menu.

"I am TOO used to it," I replied glumly. "They are the Marcia Brady of the East, soaking up everyone's attention."

"Oh  yeah? Then YOU write the gameday post," Jared said.

My bluff had totally been called.

But then I realized that this was simply a clever ploy by Jared to get out of writing about the Bolts, so my bar was actually pretty low. Apparently Jared also finds the Bolts boring. I speculate that this is because the last time we met, the Bolts beat the Ducks into tenderized strips of Duck fillet.

One might even say that we cooked the Ducks' goose.

My intent therefore is NOT to prove that the Bolts are interesting rather than boring. This project would be highly subjective, and require that people try to understand a team that is not their own. I honestly don't care enough about other people's opinions to fight that battle. (For the record, my own opinions about the Ducks are complicated, and begin and end with Paul Kariya, so I'm not even going to go there.)

However, in honor of the roasting that the Ducks got at the hands of the Bolts when we met last, I'd like to present you with something we can all agree upon: food. Here, for your enjoyment, are my favorite types of cooked duck.

Good luck to the Bolts tonight! May the Ducks serve up a tasty, tasty two points of victory!


Photo credit: Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

Peking Duck

For an Asian lady like myself, Peking Duck is a Steve Stamkos goal from the left circle: I can't go a week without it. Is it crisp, like a hard wrister? Is it juicy, like the puck accelerating top shelf over Andersen? Is it plentiful and easy to find in the Asian part of town, like Stammer's four seasons of scoring more than 30 goals? Are the bones relatively narrow in comparison to the amount of meat? Like, uh, ok, I've run out of hockey metaphors.

My mother is Thai, and I grew up in Hawaii, so I know my way around some Peking Duck. The crap you think is authentic when you get it at PF Changs sure is not. Where can you get actual Peking Duck in Anaheim? I asked my extensive network of Thai relatives for their recommendation, and they say it’s this restaurant  in Westminster. You're welcome.


Photo credit: Bruce Bennett/Getty Images

Jamie Oliver's duck salad

Duck salad is good for us and light on the wallet, much like the Bolts' sophomore second line of Tyler Johnson, Ondrej Palat, and Nikita Kucherov. You can make it with some easy home cookin' (like Seattle-born Tyler Johnson) and it goes really well with slightly exotic seasoning (like Czech-born Palat, or Russian Kucherov). You can have it over a bed of arugula for a nuttier flavor, or go with whatever suits your wallet, much like the relatively low cap-hit of these lovely AHL call-ups.

Do you guys watch Jamie Oliver? He's got a good recipe for duck salad here.


Photo Credit.

Foie Gras

Foie Gras is the Cedric Paquette goal of duck meat. It feels dirty and slightly wrong when you eat it, but you realize with a sinking feeling that you totally needed that gritty consistency in your mouth, just like every team needs that one player that digs the rebound in under the goalie. It's not elegant, but the first time it happens, you realize that it's snuck its way into your favorite dishes and you start wanting it every time.

And I'll finish with one especially for you guys, in the hopes that you've enjoyed this small exploration of the Bolts cooked duck:

Alton Brown's delicious roast duck recipe

...is totally called the Mighty Duck.

Thanks for doing my work for me, Achariya! Here's some game info...

Gameday

Lightning (33 - 21) @ Ducks (34 - 19)

Wednesday, Feb 18, 2015, 7:00 PM PST

Honda Center

Predictions

Achariya is Battle of California's new Ducks blogger.