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Sharks Gameday: Here we (Fay)Go

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Stace is never coming back

Jason Wise/Getty Images

Today I want to talk to you about a marginalized section of our society. These brave men and women gladly slough off the shackles of mainstream entertainment and occupy a proud, defiant subculture. Theirs may not be the most popular game in town and their language and mannerisms may be considered off-putting to some. These brave fans soldier on despite getting very little nationwide coverage on the biggest networks we have to offer. Hell, a great portion of them seem to have this weird disconnect between being tough while also being sensitive to the issues in their culture which cause brain damage.

Of course, I'm speaking of Juggalos.

Juggalos (and Juggalettes) are fans of the horrorcore rap group Insane Clown Posse, a group that puts Limp Bizkit to shame in terms of how influential they are over the minds of their fans. Since ICP is from Detroit and Detroit has been good at hockey since ICP has been around, there's always been some reason that they have to come up. Since I was forced to think about it, I came up with eight ways that ICP fans are just like hockey fans.

  1. The thing they like lacks national appeal, but has pockets of die-hards all over.
  2. They both use dog-whistle language to mask a weird kind of ignorant racism (hockey fans call Evander Kane a "thug" while Juggalos call people "my ninja" because it sounds close to a different word that they're not supposed to say.)
  3. They both wear hockey jerseys
  4. The ones in Los Angeles are the worst.
  5. ESPN doesn't give a shit about them.
  6. If you ask one of them to describe why they like what they do, there's a good 75% chance that they'll spend most of their time describing why every alternate form of entertainment is for weak-minded idiot feeble sellout sheep and that means the thing they like is the only "true" way to enjoy spending your free time.
  7. Ridiculous clown makeup and bad life choices abound.
  8. Numerous ties to criminal gang activity

Gameday!

San Jose Sharks vs. Detroit Red Wings

7:30pm PST

Secondary Audio Programming Center

CSN-CA

Prediction:

Joe Thornton shows up in clown makeup and spooks Logan Couture into kicking over an oil lamp, which sets fire to the Sharks' locker room.

Setting the Tone:

Tweet of the Day:

Awful Hockey Tattoo of the Day:

Eh, close enough.