Normally when two California teams face each other, we here at Battle of California take on two opposing topics and argue either side. However, we're just hours away from a very important event: Resident San Jose Sharks blogger Stace's marriage to a Los Angeles Kings fan. So instead of talking about the Kings' game tonight against the Anaheim Ducks, Kings blogger Dunn and Ducks blogger Jer have some marriage and relationship advice to share with Stace.
Tomorrow, Stace gets married. And even though it's to a fan of a division rival, it's a beautiful thing. Dunn and Jer both have unique perspectives on relationships (Jer being married for a number of years now, and Dunn having experienced every type of relationship failure possible), and so it's only fair that they (we) share some marriage advice with Stace.
Congratulations, Stace! Here are some things to keep in mind...
- Never go to bed sober.
- Try new things together! Like LSD or crack!
- A romantic dinner is always a great idea, and no place is more romantic than Chuck E. Cheese's.
- Communication is important; follow your partner on Google+
- Spice things up occasionally and invite Spade over.
- Finances are a common source of contention. To help you avoid this, we have discontinued your BoC paycheck so as not to be a distraction.
- Remember that when the Sharks and Kings play against each other, that it's only a game. And that this game is the most important thing in the world.
- Actually, to avoid those sort of conflicts, just become Coyotes fans.
- Sex is important, so make sure you're having at least as much as your partner is.
- Since hockey is clearly a shared interest, get each other gifts. They'll mean more. Like jerseys with your blogger/twitter names on them.
- In the immortal words of Darryl Sutter, "Always be sure you remmein affidid erret goobells brrp dnglangs good hustle".
- Share sexy photos with each other, and nothing is sexier than mom thighs.
- Stop feeding every stray blogger you come across, unless you are certain you can support these useless man-children until the are ready to enter society.
- You might want to break things off with James Mirtle, but let him down gently. He's a sensitive guy.
- Vacations are a great way to spend time together so make sure you have a fuck-ton of money to just blow through and go on vacation a lot.
- Split up the household chores. Alternate who collects the garbage and who wallows in it.
- Laughter can get you through the tough times. When you need humor, try reading Battle of California together... but from back when Megalodon still wrote for us, and the blog was funny.
- Avoid Minnesota as they only recognize marriages between cousins.
Kings @ Ducks
Friday, Feb 27, 2015, 7:00 PM PST
Stace trips while walking down the aisle.