Did you know that American hero Alex Ovechkin is Russian? I was as shocked as you no doubt are to learn this, but it's true, according to HockeyBuzz.
Hockey players are notoriously superstitious, and apparently so are Russians. That makes Ovechkin Supersupertitious, I guess. As a man who strives to be cultured and also needed a last minute idea to write about for a throwaway post about a back-to-back game that I'm not really interested in, I decided to see what superstitions people from Ovi's homeland might believe in.
Let's take a look...
If someone whistles inside a house, they will become fiscally irresponsible and lose money.
This is also mostly true where I live, because if you're a big enough asshole to whistle in my house I'll probably stab you and steal all of your money. Allowing your money to be stolen is irresponsible.
When you have alcohol, it must be drunk until it is gone.
So, good news for me -- It turns out I'm just superstitious, not suffering from crippling alcoholism.
It is considered taboo to give something that is broken or has a defect as a gift.
Oh, cool, not being a fucking asshole is a wacky superstition in Russia.
If you wear clothes (such as an undershirt) inside out, you will get beaten. Your friend should point this out, wait for you to fix the clothes and then punch you symbolically.
Beat the shit out of your friends (you know, symbollically) if they're too stupid to dress themselves.
Mothers typically do not show their baby to anyone except the father, the midwife and other close relatives for forty days after the baby is born.
Practical, as babies are ugly as fuck for at least a month after birth.
A woman with empty water buckets coming towards you is considered a bad omen.
Is... is this a common occurrence in Russian life?
Two or more people should never use one towel at the same time to dry their hands or bodies, or it is said to bring conflict.
...Also because that would be gross?
This all has certainly taught us something important: Russia is different from us and everything different should be feared and loathed. Fuck Ovechkin and his weird relatives.
Friday, Feb 6, 2015, 4:00 PM PST
Ryan Kesler gave Ryan Getzlaf a broken gift so the Ducks lose, according to Russian tradition. 1-0, Niklas Backstrom with the lone goal.