Joe Thornton and his boss Doug Wilson may be having, what I would call, a failure to communicate. Wilson was asked to justify taking away the captaincy from Thornton, and said Thornton gets snappy when stressed. Thornton responded by telling Wilson to shut up and calling him a liar. Both make convincing arguments. Luckily for the Los Angeles Kings, the players are on good terms with their general manager. Plus, they have a very stable leader with the loveable Dustin Brown. It's pretty easy to say that Brown is the better captain, better role model, and better person. Here's a quick rundown.
- Thornton has won the Art Ross and Hart trophies. Brown has won the NHL Foundation Player Award and the Mark Messier Leadership Award. So Thornton scores lots of points? Big whoop. Dustin had trophies that say "Leadership" on them. Point Dustin.
- When Thornton was rumored to possibly be getting traded, he yells and pouts. When Brown was on the trading block, he responded by leading his team to their first Stanley Cup. Pretty clear who the winner here is.
- Dustin Brown is American. Joe Thornton is Canadian. Americans are born with leadership and charisma. Canadians are born with funny accents. It's just how nature works. Another point for Brown.
- Thornton won a gold medal with Canada at the Olympics, but Dustin Brown has been named an alternate captain for the U.S.A. twice. You can put a price a gold, but not on leadership.
- Thornton quickly raised up and destroyed Jonathan Cheechoo and Devin Setoguchi's careers. Sure, they were great for a little while but now they are nobodies, referenced only by obscure satirical hockey blogs. Dustin Brown meanwhile makes sure Anze Kopitar never produces too much offensive output to spare him the intense burden of being popular.
- Brown draws penalties to give his team power plays. Joe Thornton yells about his dick to get attention.
- Tomas Hertl went about disrespecting and destroying the NHL. Joe Thornton did nothing about it. Dustin put a stop to all of that.
- Joe Thornton is cousins with Scott Thornton, and he was fucking awful with the Kings. Dustin Brown is not related to either in any way.
- You know, Joe Thornton has the same last name as shit-burger Sean Thornton, too. Just leaving that out there.
- Dustin Brown overcame a speech impediment. Thornton hasn't overcome shit.
- Dustin Brown has more kids than Joe Thornton, proving his balls are superior.
God, that Predators logo is awful.
Prediction: Kings lose 4-2. Both goals by the hero/legend/demigod/actual-god Dustin Brown.