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Sharks Gameday: It's all your fault

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I'm back and I think you're terrible, also Happy St. Patrick's Day!

I looooooooooove yous
I looooooooooove yous
Kyle Terada-USA TODAY Sports

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I'm back and I'm here to stay, whether you like it or not (I don't like it, I would rather be in Mazatlan, but oh well). Apparently in the few weeks that I have not been following hockey, a lot has been going on but then not at the same time.

A lot going on = The best player who has ever been on the San Jose Sharks continues to be alienated by the General Manager and he's fucking pissed

But then not at the same time = San Jose can't even acquire more points than WINNIPEG or MINNESOTA to get a playoff spot because hey newsflash they are a terrible team

Is this really all something to blame Doug Wilson for? Probably like 90% responsible, yes, but I am holding you, general consumer of hockey, to blame as well.

You came into this season knowing that the team got considerably worse, unless you are bandwagoning, and if that's the case, did you experience lost time or did you miss the Staples Center exit and just kept going north? Either way, poor life decisions all around.

"But Stace, my expectations were so low!" then why are you so upset? If you knew that Doug Wilson's whole agenda is to get Joe Thornton and Patrick Marleau to waive their NMCs, why are you SO surprised he is making asshole comments to try and do that? (Actually, that's the one part that makes me mad, but don't worry, they will never waive, my babies) Why are you SO surprised that they are not in a playoff spot? This team has been getting considerably worse every year since the 2011-2012 season. Every opportunity to get better has been squandered by a) not doing a damn thing, b) doing the absolute wrong thing, or c) doing a good thing and following it up by doing 3 small wrong things to cancel out good thing.

The signs were all there to have a tire fire of a season and it hasn't even really been that bad of a tire fire. San Jose isn't even close to going full Toronto (they have potential though, don't lose hope).

This team is rebuilding, oh wait no it's not rebuilding, oh hold the phone maybe it IS rebuilding. Who knows. Doug Wilson is a moron, but you're kinda to blame as well if you didn't mentally prepare/check out before the season started.

While I was gone, that hot girl Meg wrote a post about how you guys should try caring about something else, which I also totally recommend (sidebar: getting married is a great distraction, and also probably shitting out a kid, ask Jared about that one).

I know that sports are supposed to distract you from every day life and bring you hope and joy and chocolate sundaes and rainbows and unicorns, but you know, sometimes sports highlight every little bad thing in your actual life and makes things worse. I know that spring time is usually considerably a rough time every year for me for some reason (bad luck, whatever it may be) and when the Sharks have their annual bedshitting contest, it highlights everything that is going wrong at that exact moment in time. It's like the most beautiful thing once you learn how to accept it.

So yeah, I guess my point is that acceptance is key to this. Stop setting the bar so high, or even, just stop setting a bar in general. This season was never going to be good, so just enjoy the few good moments that occur because there's only 13 games left and I can pretty say with certainty that there won't be any games after that. Also, stop giving the team money so the front office gets fired, only watch games via illegal stream and hold back buying a Barclay Goodrow jersey for the time being (I know, it is seriously the most tempting thing ever, but we must be strong).


San Jose Sharks @ Winnipeg Jets

5:00pm PST

Nobody Cares Arena



It's St. Patrick's Day, so drink a ton and periodically check in on the hockey game, who knows, maybe they will Squeeze Out A Win and make you happy! Or you will be mad because you want a good draft pick. You guys are so flippy floppy.

Setting the Tone

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If you're mad at the Sharks, this should make you a little less mad at them. Thanks to my good pal Spike Coffman for the video.

Tweet of the Day

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Hey Patty, do you think this would be a good cover for NHL 16? <a href="">#AirMarleau</a> <a href=""></a></p>&mdash; Barclay Goodrow (@bgoodrow23) <a href="">March 16, 2015</a></blockquote>

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God damn, I love him more than I love playing cards and drinking bourbon at the local saloon.

Hockey Tattoo of the Day

I honestly don't know which tattoo was a worse decision.