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Kings Gameday: Doomed

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Still concussed. Here's a really short story that I'll try to make about hockey

A pointless story! Oh boy!
A pointless story! Oh boy!
Harry How/Getty Images

Back when I was going to college in upstate New York, as I have mentioned prior on this blog whenever the Kings happened to be playing the Rangers, I did get to go to New York City fairly often. On my trip back for grad school some years ago (holy shit I'm old), I met up with my girlfriend at the time (two failed relationships ago) at the airport, where we'd have the day to roam around the city before taking the train out to the middle of butt fuck nowhere. This was a terrible idea of course, because I had all my luggage with me. Of course, everything I own was able to fit into two medium sized suitcases, but it's not ideal still when you're walking around all the damn day.

We managed to miss our subway exit and got off in Harlem, and both of us were tired of dragging around my crap for blocks so decided to just wait at a pizza joint near Grand Central. It was unremarkable, the pizza was meh, and we couldn't go hook up in the bathroom to kill time (very classy) because I wasn't leaving my stuff (as worthless as it is) sitting around unattended. About thirty minutes in, our server, a young Middle Eastern guy, started making small talk with us. It kind of got progressively more blunt and rather awkward.

"Where are you from?" blah blah blah "Do you go to school in the city?" no blah blah blah "My name is Bob(?)" blah blah blah. Eventually he politely said my girlfriend was pretty and that I was a lucky guy. I said thanks and she laughed. I don't know if he felt he was being pushy or if he had offended me but before I even finished saying "Thanks" he blurted out, "But yeah you're really hot."

I'm pretty sure he was trying to be nice, but he turned around and left before I could say anything else. It eventually led to a large argument between my then girlfriend and myself, though it led off humorously enough.

Me: "He said I was hot. Wait, no. Really hot."

Girl: "Well he complemented me first."

Me: "Yeah but he didn't say you were 'really hot'. I got that compliment. According to Bob(?) I'm the really hot one. You're just pretty."

Girl: "You have to turn this into a competition?"

Me: "Yep, because I'm kicking your ass in it."

Girl: "God you're an asshole."

She wound up taking the whole thing very seriously, and even though Bob(?) had pointed out that I was really hot, she would have none of me and didn't talk to me for the next two days. This was also despite the fact it was literally just us hanging out for the whole time. Her loss. I was the hunk according to the middle eastern guy working in pizza place demographic. I suppose I could have said I was joking and apologized, but it was sort of funny. Anyways...

The Kings right now are me. The Rangers are the old girlfriend. The Kings and I are clearly superior to her/Rangers, yet we kind of fucked up and dicked around making jokes/playing shitty in the regular season, and instead of fixing things now we find ourselves not being spoken to/not making the playoffs probably. But that doesn't matter because we know we are better looking/better at hockey. The Kings got that validation in the finals last year beating the Rangers in five games. I got that validation from an awkward kid who barely spoke English and was trying to be nice.

See? It all works out.

rangers preview

Hm. I forgot I never made a logo for them. Oh well.

Prediction: Kings lose, fall further back in the race, and I Facebook stalk my ex-girlfriend and the new guy she is with.