Kings Gameday: Cause I'm Regehr

The year was 2001 and I was a young, ignorant, Stanley Cup-less kid. A man, no, an AFROMAN, came along and put out a bit of musical genius about his life falling into shambles because of a certain substance, and I hope I am spelling this right, called "marijuana". It's perils were frightening and sudden and because of it, I never ever used it. Okay, so the song itself is stupid as hell and was only moderately catchy.

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In case you are wondering what the censored portion is, he's talking about jacking off.

Anyways, Robyn Regehr has been oh so terrible the last week or so after being pretty decent for close to a month. He got turnstiled against Ottawa, dispossessed by Anaheim, and turned the puck over horrendously to Winnipeg. It's been terrible. So I got AFROMAN to come back from obscurity and pen a nice little sonnet to Robyn. So here we have "Cause I'm Regehr" (hey, that's the title of the post):

La da da da da da La, Da Daaa,
La da da da, La da da da, La da da daaa

I was gonna make a pass
But I'm Regehr
I'm was gonna clear the puck off the glass
But I'm Regehr
Instead I turned the puck over and I'll make it clear,
yea heyy,
Because I'm Regehr, because I'm Regehr, because I'm Regehr.

(La da da da da da da da da)

I was gonna run the breakout
But I'm Regehr
I'm was gonna try a spin move fake out
But I'm Regehr
Instead I fell flat on my ass and I'll make it clear,
yea heyy,
Because I'm Regehr, because I'm Regehr, because I'm Regehr.

(La da da da da da da da da)

I was gonna shoot more on goal
But I'm Regehr
I'm was gonna increase my point totals
But I'm Regehr
Now I've got only four goals in three seasons and I'll make it clear,
yea heyy,
Because I'm Regehr, because I'm Regehr, because I'm Regehr.

(La da da da da da da da da)

I was gonna have good fancy stats
But I'm Regehr
I'm was gonna be a part of those analytics chats
But I'm Regehr
Now I've destroyed all my partners' numbers also and I'll make it clear,
yea heyy,
Because I'm Regehr, because I'm Regehr, because I'm Regehr.

(La da da da da da da da da)

I was gonna show everyone up
But I'm Regehr
I'm was gonna win myself a second Stanley Cup
But I'm Regehr
Now I should be stuck in the press box every night and I'll make it clear,
yea heyy,
Because I'm Regehr, because I'm Regehr, because I'm Regehr.

(La da da da da da da da da)

I was gonna finish my career in L.A.
But I'm Regehr
I was gonna at least cash in as a UFA
But I'm Regehr
And here I am in playing in Russia for peanuts and I'll make it clear,
yea heyy,
Because I'm Regehr, because I'm Regehr, because I'm Regehr.

La da da da da da, La da da da, Shoop shooby doo wop.

Get jiggy wit it, skibbidy bee bop diddy do wahhh

Those last couple of lines are actually in the song, don't blame me.

Seriously, get it the fuck together Regehr. Says the guy who just wrote a hockey parody of an already ridiculous song from over a decade ago.

Prediction: Regehr scores a hat trick and beats the piss outta me afterwards somehow.