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Kings Gameday: Game speed

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It's a long road back to the NHL

Alec Martinez seen here getting his brain smacked around
Alec Martinez seen here getting his brain smacked around
Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

Alec Martinez has not played hockey in a while. Back when the Kings first started their eight game winning streak, prior to their three game losing streak, before they beat the Edmonton Oilers on Tuesday, Alec Martinez got hit in the head by Cedric Paquette of the Tampa Bay Lightning. Marty missed the rest of the game, and was seen wandering around the stands in the third period in a suit. It became evident he had a concussion, because nobody in their right mind would willingly talk to someone in Florida if it could be avoided. Martinez also reportedly caught the flu, likely because his brain wasn't working too well as his judgement was clearly impaired, by touching those Floridians.

The Kings decided to cut all activity out for Martinez. The downside to this is that Martinez has apparently fallen completely out of shape in a matter of a couple of weeks. That Florida flu is a real killer. Now, before he starts hockey activity up again, he's been instructed to ride a stationary bike for two days. It's a little strange to note though that before Martinez was reportedly sick, he was riding a stationary bike then as well. Perhaps no one told him to and that was just another side effect of the concussion. I know when I had concussions I've done some plenty weird things, like sleeping on the floor during class in high school. Fortunately, my concussions no effect me brains and am good smart.

Where was I?

Oh yeah, the exercise bike. So Alec is forced to ride an exercise bike to get back up to game speed. I can only assume it's for conditioning, otherwise the NHL has some odd concussion protocol. Here's some other random activities Martinez has to go through before he can resume skating with the team:

  • To relearn what hockey is, Martinez must complete a full 82 game season on NHL15.
  • For the shootout, Martinez must recreate the penalty shot taken from The Might Ducks until he has it down perfectly. THEN he must recreate every shootout move, including the missed the shots and the Icelandic team's, from D2: The Mighty Ducks. It should be noted, Martinez has never taken part of the shootout.
  • To prepare for possibly playing alongside Robyn Regehr, Alec must carry around an anchor for a whole afternoon.
  • Relearning the Kings' power play is strenuous, but obviously vital. Alec will have to stand around in place for two minutes until the coaches are convinced his standing around is up to par with the rest of the team.
  • For getting used to the physical aspect of hockey, Alec will be forced to ride bumper cars for several hours.
  • Alec can work on his puck handling by playing bubble hockey.
  • To be sure his skating his back up to speed, management will wax a hardwood floor, and see how well Alec navigates it while wearing socks. He must also recreate that scene in Risky Business. Not for hockey reasons, but just because how many chances do you really get to do that?
  • Alec must travel to Mt. Kilimanjaro, climb it, survive the three trials, find the lost Emerald Eye of Enlightenment, discover his place and purpose in life, perhaps learn that his bookish yet attractive guide on his journey was his real love, and return to Darryl Sutter to discuss what he has learned on his hero's journey. Coming to theaters next Christmas.

preview canadiens

The Canadiens got their butts kicked by the Sharks, 4-0. Not very elite, Mr. Price. The Kings, as mentioned earlier, beat up on the Oilers. Not to say the Kings played all that well, but it's the Oilers so really any team worth a damn can get away with that.

Prediction: Kings lose 3-1. Goal by Lewis.