Oh boy the 2015 playoffs! Fuck that shit.
I guess if you have to have a rooting interest since the Kings are out, it's far easier to root for former Kings then trying to root for new assholes you still hate. Like Nashville? Too bad. They got Mike Ribeiro. Chicago? Danny Carbomb Carcillo. Minnesota, St. Louis, or Anaheim? Just chop your head in half like it's a honeydew melon and be done with it. Rooting for individuals is far easier too. Aside from goalies, most players are only on the ice for a minute at a time anyways. You wind up with a whole lot of free time to do other things, like videotaping your neighbors.
So which team harbors overthrown monarchs like they are a displaced despot? The rundown:
Gorilla Salad: Let's just move on.
Jason LaBarbera: Ah yes. Part of the dynamic duo of the LaBarbera/Garon years. Excuse me while I watch his highlights as a King and gouge my eyes out with a sharpened dildo.
The Flames and Senators aren't involved with the Kings in any way, which totally explains why their fancy numbers suck shit and yet they made the playoffs despite this. The perfect anti-Kings.
Dan Girardi: Okay, yeah, he's not technically a former Kings player, but without his inspiring play in the finals last season the series could have gone a lot longer potentially. Girardi had a beautiful set up for Mike Richards to spring Justin Williams in game one in overtime, letting the Kings take the early series lead. Dan will always live in the hearts of Kings fans everywhere.
Devan Dubnyk looks like Theodore from Alvin and the Chipmunks went and had sex with one of the radioactive hillbillies from The Hills Have Eyes.
Prediction: Oh yeah I don't have to do these now.