clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Kings Gameday: Spring Broken

New, 3 comments

What a clever title

Spoiler alert: He doesn't get the puck
Spoiler alert: He doesn't get the puck
Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

It's that time of the year again. Spring Break! I actually never really did too much for Spring Break while I was in college, as I didn't have the money to travel extensively, and also I possess some real sociopathic tendencies when I am around massive crowds that consist of a homogeneous group. Aka, I hate people like me. On the plus side, since I'm only part-time employed everyday is like Spring Break. Go me!

A member of the Los Angeles Kings is on a relatively similar level as well. Remember Mike Richards? The Flyers' guy? The Monarchs' center? No? Oh well. Anyways, he recently got recalled from his AHL stint, rehabbing from an injury described as "sucking lots of balls" and everyone was hopeful he could make a big impact for the Kings in their playoff push. Unfortunately, it appears he came back from his injury too soon, as there were many balls he was still sucking during his few games he played. I fear he may never stop sucking balls and that this injury may be career threatening.

Now Richards finds himself scratched for the first time in his career, enjoying being partially employed, and now he can run around and do whatever he wants for Spring Break, rather than play in hockey games. Sure, Richards may brood on the fact he lost his job to Nick Shore, who has only one goal. Richards could mope knowing the Kings value Jarret Stoll, a guy who spends roughly 25% of a game in a penalty box, more than him. Or Richards might sit and cry in a corner for hours while his best buddy and life partner, Jeff Carter, finds new happiness with Tyler Toffoli, who has more shorthanded goals this season than Mike Richards scored in his entire time with the Kings and has had more points this season than Richards ever had scored in a season with Los Angeles. Though it is funny to note Richards' most productive season was during the lockout shortened year, where he finished a point behind Carter and Justin Williams who tied for second on the team, and we all overlook and forget that.

So now Richards can go to Cancun rather than deal with the Canucks. He can party it up in Cabo and not Calgary. He can travel anywhere else in the damn world rather than Edmonton. And if the Kings need him to suck balls again by turning the puck over while he runs into his own teammates, he can. He can be that sort of hero the rest of the league needs.

Though if any other team is reading this, Mike Richards is an invaluable asset, who's true worth cannot be measured. He is a leader, a winner, and real competitor. The Toronto Maple Leafs would be crazy to not acquire him. A first round pick and Nazem Kadri would be a bargain, but the Kings can't leverage much with their salary cap issues so Toronto should definitely do that they are so smart please don't take him no.

preview 11/8

C'mon, someone just fucking take Richards.

Prediction: No one takes Richards. Also, the Kings lose 3-2 with goals by Carter and Williams. I tentatively plan a trip in late April again.