I'm not really sure how Anaheim pulled of that last one, but I'll take it.
I asked Cieslak a few questions over the weekend, and here's what he had to say (my response to his answers are in brackets). Questions were asked and answered prior to game one...
Say something mean about the Blackhawks.
Say something nice about the Ducks.
They aren't the Kings
[ Jer: That's the nicest thing anybody has ever said about us. ]
Now say what you really want to say about the Ducks.
Their uniforms look like discarded kimonos from a 1950s rub and tug. Corey Perry is so vile he almost makes Barret Jackman look like a role model.
[ Jer: I know Corey Perry is intimidating (especially in Anaheim's suave as fuck jerseys), but he's harmless, don't worry. ]
Why will the Hawks win this series?
Because most of their players are better than Anaheim's. Most likely it's going to come down to Anaheim being able to get Getzlaf and Perry away from Toews and most historical data shows that Bruce Boudreau doesn't believe in matching lines. That'll be a problem if Toews is consistently shutting them down, as he has almost everyone else over the past 6-7 years. And with them neutralized the Ducks will have to stop either Kane's line or the third line which has Sharp, Vermette and Teuvo. Also, Anaheim's #1 defenseman is Cam Fowler.
[ Jer: I'll have you know that Bruce Boudreau does believe in matching lines. He just has no idea how to do it. ]
Why will the Hawks lose this series?
Maybe Corey Perry injures everyone in game one? No joking aside and feel free to get mad at me forever but for the Ducks to win it's going to take a) Freddy Andersen having a historic series against a team that has shredded most goaltenders over the past half-decade b) a Blackhawk goalie meltdown (not impossible to imagine) c) a team dip in Corey Perry's hot tub
[ Jer: I'm mad at you forever. ]
How confident do you feel about your goaltending?
I think Crawford is better than his reputation but I worry about a repeat of game 2 at Nashville. What's good is people think a guy who has two Jennings trophies and a top 10 save percentage this year is bad. So he doesn't have to do much to impress outsiders. Chicagoans by and large hate him though because we're stupid and will always love the backup, especially when he's a LOCAL GUY.
How confident do you feel about your physical appearance?
I'm very handsome
[ Jer: From what I hear, this is true. ]
What are most Hawks fans really sensitive about?
almost everything so have fun with it
What is your prediction about how this series plays out?
Hawks in 5 because I feel like being nice. Thanks for having me by the way.
[ Jer: Well, at least Anaheim got our 1 win down early, then. ]
Say whatever else you want to say.
If any of you happen to have made the horrible mistake of following me on twitter just know that any jokes about your hockey team that I make are not personal attacks and if you think they are you're a baby and should sleep in a crib.
[ Jer: I follow Cieslak on Twitter, and he's the meanest person I know. ]
Blackhawks @ Ducks
Ducks lead series 1-0
Tuesday, May 19, 2015, 6:00 PM PDT
Anaheim doesn't win 4-1.