A Tearful Goodbye

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Please play song throughout the duration of post for dramatic effect

I'm closing in on a year here at Battle of California and it is with my deepest regret that I inform you that I am retiring from blogging and twitter. I've spent the last year preying on the weak minded hockey markets of the National Hockey League with hurtful tweets and posts about beloved hockey players and hockey teams.

I've come to realize that me doing this has a direct correlation with how I feel about myself, personally. It's hard to describe one's inner psyche without being able to penetrate another's mind, but to describe it in the best possible way...I think I'm pretty great, and making fun of hockey players to irritate others is also great.

Minnesota...Winnipeg...Anaheim...Boston...Los Angeles...the list of fan bases I've terrorized is never ending. It seemed as if I would never be stopped, until....

The Tweet Heard 'Round the World

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Not knowing hockey at all <a href="http://t.co/g1Rc5aWB7s">pic.twitter.com/g1Rc5aWB7s</a></p>&mdash; Things HT folks like (@ThingsForHT) <a href="https://twitter.com/ThingsForHT/status/596688134659776513">May 8, 2015</a></blockquote>

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The Reaction

This hurts. As a hockey fan who lives in Southern California, how was I to know that not only the second round is still going on, but there's a whole other round before the final? I just wanted to congratulate the Chicago Blackhawks for doing well, as usual, because they are a Great Organization with Lots of Wins. For once I wanted to pay my respects instead of shitting all over a team, and I Got Burned.

The worst part about this, is obviously the number of RTs and FAVs that this tweet that I got owned in has. It was spread all over Hockey Twitter that I am a big goof and I will never be able to show my face on line again. I am now a broken shell of the cynical woman that I once was, forever wandering the Information Super Desert, to never find peace again.

Outro

I will miss you all. The recovery process could be decades, but don't lose hope. I'm sure that I will make a full recovery before the Sharks ever win a Stanley Cup.