Circle of Jerks: Stace on Jer

1. The Ducks acquired Kevin Bieksa, why did they do that? When was the last time Bob Murray updated his player footage?

Bieksa is a really great pickup for our 2011 Ducks and I have a lot of faith that this 2011-12 season will be spectacular. I imagine he'll be paired with Kurtis Foster. Randy Carlyle is going to do great things with this team in 2011-12!

They are really going to bail out Curtis McElhinney.

2. Matt Beleskey had like 4 good playoff games and Boston signs him for a silly contract. Was it a fluke? Will this have a hilarious ending?

Players that have a good year never stop improving, Stace. Don't you watch hockey? It's the same reason Dany Heatley did so well with Anaheim.

[Editor's Note: If anyone knows someone who actually bought an Anaheim Dany Heatley shirsey or jersey, please email me]

3. Do you watch Mr. Robot? If not, read an online synopsis. Okay, now that you've done that, why aren't you watching Mr. Robot?

I started to read a synopsis and the first sentence referred to it as a "cyberpunk thriller" and I immediately started to do a wanking-motion, rolled my eyes, and threw my laptop in the garbage.

I retrieved my laptop later and finished typing out this answer for you, though.

Then I finished myself off with more wanking-motion.

[Editor's Note: Fuck you]