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I'm Not Going Anywhere, Suckers... But I'm Getting Help.

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Stace is gone, but Jer is not. Also, here is Cory.

Last week we found out that our beloved Stace is off to greener pastures (we took her to a big farm upstate where she'll have plenty of room to run around, we promise), and this week you learned that Sharks fans around here will be left in competent hands with Ian taking over for Stace.

Here's another change to announce...

I'm old. Really fucking old. I'm also busy with real world stuff that isn't nearly as fun as bugging people on the internet, like feeding my giant baby.

But I don't plan on abandoning you like Stace, no matter how much you want me to leave.

Instead, I'm bringing in some help, someone to share in the Battle of California gameday workload a bit. Like an aging Teemu Selanne who just didn't have it in him to play back-to-back games anymore, I don't have the time to do it alone.

But, just like we did with Ian, I'm bringing in someone more than capable of helping out.

Introducing Cory Rosas, Your New Ducks Co-Blogger

He's familiar with the workings of SBNation as he's been writing for Anaheim Calling for some time now, and he's familiar with all of you jerks here because he's a regular Battle of California reader. Unlike me, he's actually seen a hockey game before, so he'll be able to write about hockey, if for some reason he sees fit to do that. God knows why he would.

When I first started writing for you jerks, Earl Sleek asked me some questions as a way to introduce me to you folks. Since most of what I do is just relying on the work of others, I thought I'd steal here questions and have Cory answer them. Perhaps I should have updated the questions, but as we've established, I'm a busy man...

Q1: Which opposing team gives you the greatest amount of joy when they lose to the Ducks?

Now, I hate the Kings just as much as any other rational sentient being, but it's hard to quench your thirst for tears of the innocent from a team that's composed of known (or future) criminals. I mean, it's only a matter of time.

Dwight King

This is why I enjoy watching the Dallas Stars lose to the Ducks. The Stars may not be innocent, but apparently the Ducks are the team that the entire state of Texas cries about the most.

Hate Map

Q2: We don't have a ton of sample size yet, but what's one thing you like about Bruce Boudreau over Randy Carlyle?

He know's what's most important when purchasing a new car.

Q3: My annual tradition poll question: You are the Anaheim GM, and for whatever reason you are forced to trade one of Getzlaf, Perry, or Ryan. Who would you trade?

If time has told us anything, not only are you old and senile, Jer, but you're stupid too. And I quote:

"Getzlaf's production is on the decline, and I was never a fan of his immaturity as a captain. Of the two with expiring contracts, Perry is more worth fighting to keep. Bobby Ryan's continued production, time in contract, and reasonable pay make him worth holding on to (and boy, that adorable lisp), but this is if we take his claims at face value and there are no hard feelings between him and the club, and that his outburst this off-season was just a little indiscretion." - Jer in 2012

I'd still trade Bobby.

[Editor's Note: Yeah... well... fuck.]

Q4: A "No Wrong Answers" question: who was your favorite #32 in Anaheim? Are you more of a Stumpy Thomas guy? A Travis "The Omen" Moen fan? Toni "Double Vision" Lydman? Stu "The Grim Reaper" Grimson? (Those are pretty much your only choices -- don't be a dick and say Kyle Calder.) :)

Baby Cory Rosas

Seeing as this was me when Stu Grimson played with the Ducks (Yes you're all old), I'll have to go with Travis Moen. He was one of my favorite players during the 2006-2007 season. Men was credited with the own-goal that turned out to be the series-winner in the Ducks 2007 Stanley Cup win over the Ottawa Senators. He also fought Steve Ott and Daniel Carcillo, so he's pretty cool.

Q5: How long do you predict this lockout will last?

I assume you're talking about the 2012-2013 NHL lockout. Since it is now the year 2015, I can safely sat that the lockout was as short as the Shark's cup window.

* * *

Good work, Cory.

I don't know what Cory's plans are regarding Anaheim Calling. I assume he'll stick around there as he writes for us as well, but we all know Battle of California is the big show. You hear me, Anaheim Calling?

Dunn also considered bringing in some help, but we had a hard time finding any semi-literate Kings fans. So Dunn is working on other creative ways to pawn his work off on other unsuspecting fools.

Welcome aboard, Cory!