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Kings Gameday: You get nothing

This team does deserve one thing: SADNESS

Happier, Scottier times
Happier, Scottier times
Jayne Kamin-Oncea-USA TODAY Sports

I am beginning to think the Arizona Coyotes are personally trying to fuck with me. Let me tell you though, they are gonna come out on the losing end of that. I'm not saying I have the ability to take down an entire sports franchise (yet), but as part of a group I like to think I played a pretty sizable role in removing the NFL from St. Louis. And I don't even care about football that much. Just saying, watch yourself Coyotes.

Don't believe that an NHL team is trying to personally attack me? The John Scott fiasco had that trade go down the day after I finally admitted it was Battle of California's doing that he got voted in to begin with. Coincidence? I think not. Truly they fear yet another California entity owning their sorry asses.

As for me personally?

coyotes defense

This is war you pieces of shit. Also, your header picture is going to be used as evidence once that poor little girl turns up missing. Shane Doan can't explain every missing child that comes into contact with him. And maybe that's why your attendance is down. You ass-hats block em on twitter and they think, "boy, if they are that big of a crybaby online, I wonder how pathetic their actual hockey team must be?"

This aggression will not stand. Your ploys have been futile anyways. How'd that John Scott trade turn out? Oh yeah he made the team still because we called you on your bullshit after you sucked off Gary Bettman. Sure, I get he may want to relocate you if you don't follow his orders, but once again you Coyotes have proven yourself to be completely spineless. And because of all of this, here's what you get for the All-Star game:

That's right, NOTHING. Cue the sad trombone, you bunch of sand covered mangled genitals. No Oliver Ekman-Larsson. No Shane Doan. Nothing. And the league and all of us are better off for it. No one cares. There's no movement or campaign to get those clods in because we've already forgotten you. Enjoy your compounding irrelevancy yet again.

Preview Coyotes

Prediction: Kings lose 2-1 after a last second barrage of goals from Ekman-Larsson and Doan.