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This is the End

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This will finally be the season that breaks Ducks fans for good.

Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports

This millennial's dream came true this summer. An upper management white male retired and now I can finally have his job with no pay or benefits. That's right! Jer is finally gone, and just in time too. Just like other retirees of today, Jer left a massive garbage fire of destruction in his wake. Randy Carlyle was re-hired by the Ducks. Hampus Lindholm and Rickard Rakell have yet to be signed to new contracts because money is being wasted on old dudes that don't know how to do their jobs anymore. What a surprise!

Bruce Boudreau provided us the most ironic of news stories before the season even started. Boudreau was tragically robbed of his AHL hockey memorabilia and many of his personal belongings while moving to his new home in Minnesota. What is ironic about this story is why it happened.

"Instead of using the Wild's preferred moving company, the Boudreaus went with a less reputable one from the East Coast."

So you're telling me that a man who used a less reputable Clayton Stoner over James Wisniewski and lost a Western Conference Final was tragically robbed because he didn't learn? I'm shook.

In Boudreau's defense, he probably would have suffered just as much trusting the Wild and the state of Minnesota.

Gameday

Anaheim Ducks @ Dallas Stars

Thursday, October 13, 2016, 5:30 p.m. PST

American Airlines Center

Prediction

Jer has another child.

Inspirational Music

An ode to millennials, Ducks fans, and Jer.