I dislike Mondays

This non-specific orange tabby cat and I have something in common: we really don’t like Monday NHL games.

Were you aware?

Joe Thornton failed to register a point in a regular season Sharks win for the first time in 11 months last Saturday against the Indigenous People’s Blue Jackets. He is 78 years old and only plays hockey because his horse cart broke down and he couldn’t make it back to his Amish village using modern technology.

Photo by Kirk Irwin/Getty Images

Patrick Marleau had another game-winning goal. The NHL will celebrate shitheads like Shane Doane sticking around year after year, elbows out, but THE most lovable aging child-star in the league remains criminally underappreciated.

Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images

Was I aware?

That this is the first game of a back-to-back? No, not until very recently. FUCK.

Sharks @ Rangers

4:00 PM Pacific

Prediction: It’s a nationally broadcast game, so the entire Sharks team is going to walk into a doorknob, metaphorically.