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Flyers Are the Worst

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Why would you want to waste paper? THINK ABOUT THE TREEEEEES!

Paper is wasteful. Why would you want to kill trees? The Philadelphia Flyers are adding to an already shitty situation. Each year Americans waste paper on homework, government memos, and yes, FLYERS! We need to put an end to flyers. The 2016 campaign circus* for the presidency has already released so much vile, environmentally toxic waste into to atmosphere, and that's only including the candidates themselves.

Here's some of the FACTS:

The United States and Canada are the world's largest producers of paper and paper products. Understanding the facts about paper consumption - especially within the U.S. - is the first step in the transition to a paperless environment.

  • In the last 20 years, the usage of paper products has increased from 92 million tons to 208 million, which is a growth of 126%.
  • In 1997 the total world paper and paperboard production was 299,044 metric tons. It would take about 200,000 Volkswagen Beetle cars to equal this weight.
  • The Philadelphia Flyers are the largest known pile of paper waste in the United States.
  • The U.S. uses approximately 68 million trees each year to produce paper and paper products.
  • The ghost of a bear that once lived in the Philadelphia forest is now enslaved to the team.
STAY WOKE
*not a single question in the debate was about energy or the environment.

Gameday

Anaheim Ducks @ Philadelphia Flyers

the dump

Thursday, October 20, 2016, 4:00 p.m. PST

Prediction

The Ducks lose because even Corey Perry can't live in this dump.

Inspirational Music

Today you're listening to: Paper Planes by M.I.A.