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Florida: the US’s large adult son

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The vast hellscape of Florida

There’s a pattern I’ve noticed in my life where things seem to be going OK and then Florida (or Ohio) pops up and ruins everything. Actually, it’s more complicated than that. It’s more that we all just need Florida to not fuck-up for once, and they never come through. Never. N-E-V-E-R.

Florida is the Large Adult Son of America. It’s the 4th largest state by GDP, but this is the first sentence under “Industry” on Florida’s Wikipedia page:

Florida is the leading state for sales of power boats. There were $1.96 billion worth of boats sold in 2013.


Here’s what the page had to say about Personal Income.

Florida has 4 cities in the top 25 cities in the U.S. with the most credit card debt. The state also had the second-highest credit card delinquency rate, with 1.45% of cardholders in the state more than 90 days delinquent on one or more credit cards.

Our Large Adult Son is behind on his credit card payments because he bought a fucking power boat. Again.

Sharks @ Panthers

4:30 PM Pacific

Prediction: I’m very disappointed in the actions of my Large Adult Son but cannot kick him out, because he cannot rent a place because his credit score is terrible because of his power boat habit.