clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Tamp it down

New, 15 comments
2015 Honda NHL All-Star Skills Competition - Bridgestone NHL Fastest Skater
I cropped out Phil Kessel because I hate you motherfucking stans relentlessly.
Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images

The internet has always been a cesspool, which is really our raison d’etre here at BoC, but it’s become particularly unbearable this last week, so I guess I’m writing this to, like, one of diamondback15, Old Kentucky Shark, and mako. Seidenboob will get around to it at some point.

And I don’t blame them for chucking their Connected Devices down a salt mine shaft. My Twitter feed is full of smug Canadians (barf), contortionist Bernites with no sense of irony bent on revenge, experts on Eastern European authoritarianism whose 49 consecutive numbered tweets are excellent step-by-step instructions for inducing a panic attack, and hockey highlights. Navigating Facebook is like walking across a razed lot strewn with medical waste. Nextdoor is a herpes flareup where the herpes is straight-up racism (you don’t know when it’s going to strike, it could be dormant for a while, but it’s always there). Instagram is just an uncle away from turning everything to shit in the replies.

I have been unable to use hockey as a reprieve from this shit, unfortunately, though it was nice to get the win the other night. Brent Burns just continues to wreck shit, and we actually scored an empty net goal by Tommy Wingels! Jones had a bounce-back game, and so far continues to play eerily like last year: decent, great, bad, oh fuck, good, .... One other positive is that I have so far not heard any of the shitheads on the Sharks admire President Date Rape.

I don’t know anything about Tampa Bay apart from their star players you already know about, and that their coach, Jon Cooper, has the look and mannerisms of somebody who always “forgets” to delete their disgusting browser history when they use your computer.

Sharks @ Lightning

4:00 PM Pacific

Prediction: I bottle it up and keep inside, I’m in ship-shape