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The high-pitched, annoying voice of reason

Paris Hilton Appearance Photo by Michael Dodge/Getty Images

Mr. Rogers was a kind, patient man who was an important part of my childhood entertainment (we were lame back then). Here’s one of his famous quotes:

"When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping." To this day, especially in times of "disaster," I remember my mother's words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world."

Fred Rogers and his homeboy B-TRAP.

I’ve been frantically looking around for “helpers” for the last week or so for some reason. A surprising thing about times of crisis is that you find help in unexpected places. Lindsey Graham, for example, or today’s hero Paris Hilton:

Yeah, fuck you, Trickster Coyote. I’m glad Paris has my back on this. We’re going to need all the help we can get.

Sharks @ Coyotes

5:00 PM Pacific

Prediction: I hate Coyoteeees!