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San Jose Sharks v Pittsburgh Penguins
Octung!
Photo by Justin Berl/Getty Images

San Jos8 Sharks General Man8ger Doug Wilson announced tod8y that the club has signed defenseman Brent Burns (@Burnzie88), Sharks jers8y number 88, to an eight (8) year contract extension. Per club policy the terms of the deal weren’t 8nnounced, even though we just s8id it was an 8 year contract extension 8nd 8nyone with half 8 br8in can probably figure out the average cap hit v8lue.

“No thanks, I just 8,” said Wilson when asked to confirm whether it was in fact a contract worth $8 million dollars a year. “Don’t tempt f8t.”

“I only learned one number in school, so this really just works out for me on all levels,” replied Burns. “It looks like a snowman, and I really like snowmen.”

A word about the Hawks

Boring.

Hawks @ Sharks

7:30 PM Pacific

Prediction: 8-8 game, where each goalie gives up 8 goals on 8 shots. Won on a shootout in the 8th round.