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DonCherryBot 2000

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Detroit Red Wings v Pittsburgh Penguins - Game Three Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images

[More generated content, since this is the terrifying future! Don Cherry and Ron MacLean stop by to talk about Toronto, Joe Thornton, and liking weights.]

DON CHERRY: The guy in Toronto was gonna talk to the hardworking man for five thousand dollars, but, again, what happened was everyone was asked why I thought we’d call this city a stripper bar. Have you got the Bruins going to hit something personal? That, kids, you’ll never ever drop this. A landslide is gonna remember. I am not having that stuff.

RON MACLEAN: You admire the chest of that group, Don?

DON CHERRY: I said "we’re cutting in front of Roberto Luongo, and you’re looking exceptionally sharp today."

RON MACLEAN: So don I didn’t know Messier said you love the junior you that was in Canada?

DON CHERRY: They can't believe this here game. They had, today, Probert that stupid instigator, he straightened him out good. In Sudbury he hit something personal, but kids you’ve never ever lived for eighteen months in Toronto.

RON MACLEAN: Would you just give him credit as that group on CBC you love, Don?

DON CHERRY: A big bad word is Weise, he sucked. And somebody was always like, "Phaneuf...he hurt himself." This kids at home, but wanna go along with Thornton? He was bad and everything, but I’d always tell you about Clutterbuck, and he’s no good. That first goal was waived off, but again they work on toughness and that’s why I guarantee, you gotta like weights.

RON MACLEAN: The junior on CBC would go to overtime and not to the seventies. Would you admire that, Don?

DON CHERRY: They won, but Brady is straight. Like deflating the footballs under your nuts. What rule in hockey rinks is so tedious? I think it’s unbelievable that kids don’t believe in Florida. They all looked like Dion Phaneuf to me. Have respect for something.

A little story I signed: for cutting your buddy Joe Thornton to get a big thing to watch, you’re asking me if my shirts are stupid? They are stupid, you’re standing and you’re just gonna talk to me if there's shirts for us to admire. In toronto this city is going nuts, remember. They went down another guy called Maudlin and they work out if there's a couple of baseballs in my presence. The big equipment is going right off to see these volunteers coming up running around stickin’ this stuff to me and everything.

But kids you’ll be facin’ trouble with John Scott for hits from behind, and that’s why you don’t believe this here game I know. Was gonna talk over MacLean here like they thought i should. The game today, visors for instance, it wasn’t politically correct but let’s face it: it’s funny parking the troops there like they can't believe they are stupid.

In hockey you don’t mind hitting like young boys and girls, if you nuts in Sudbury have behaved. What enforcers do is good, and that’s just a little whack thing about Marchand. And i like that Owen knew it. You look good, guy. You remember Stevie Yzerman for something personal he did after he came from Canada and the boys loved him? I always was going to say...I was disappointed with his face. I thought I’d wear the greatest quarterback in the organization to get a tough parking spot. Your buddy Joe Thornton, he cheated and I tried to kill him but it’s better to kill you. The guy is 6 foot 3 and I think it’s important to watch Thornton laugh at this city. That stuff is the best.

Sharks @ Leafs

4:30 PM Pacific

Prediction: Joe Thornton laughs at this city, which is the best.