Ottawha?

I don’t know what to say about the Senators, the team. Did you know they’re in 2nd place in the Atlantic? I didn’t.

Did you know their dumb-ass logo is a Roman centurion, even though their team name is the “Senators”, presumably referring to Roman senators because Ottawa is the capital of Canada? You probably did. But let’s think about how weird that is. It’d be like if the Sharks logo was a boat, because boats are in the ocean, and Sharks are also in the ocean. Or if the Kings logo had a stupid-ass knight on it, because knights helped guard kings or something.

It makes no sense, and it was only done because senators are not particularly ferocious, even if they’re assholes. A big meaty, jowely white dude who gleefully repeals heath-care is frightening in a different way than sports mascots are supposed to be frightening. They’re supposed to convey strength and be tough, even though the most beloved and iconic ones usually aren’t like that at all. A wheel with a bird’s wing on it isn’t tough or fearsome. “Oh no, here comes a ‘B’ in the middle of a circle!”

All of which points to a fundamental fact: the Senators are dumb and a bad idea. I don’t think we should contract them or anything, but maybe if we ignore them, they’ll feel foolish and will just kind of disappear on their own?

Senators @ Sharks

7:30 PM Pacific

Prediction: I just forgot who we were playing tonight. Who was it again?