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Kings Gameday: Eastbound and down

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I terrorize both coasts now

Cal Clutterbuck right where he belongs. Stuck between asses.
Cal Clutterbuck right where he belongs. Stuck between asses.
Jayne Kamin-Oncea-USA TODAY Sports

Hey jerks, I'm in New York City currently to escape the crushing heat of Southern California in February. Of course now I am dealing with the crushing cold of New York in what was a 70 degree swing. I don't have much to talk about today, as I only wandered around Chinatown for an hour or so last night. I think I made friends when I went to go get some pizza and asked for a fork and knife.

As for today's game:

islanders preview

I have tried to figure out what exactly an "Islander" is. By the simplest logic, it's just someone who lives on an island and plays on a hockey team that hasn't been relevant in decades. It's sort of like a Met (someone who lives in a metropolis and plays on a mediocre baseball team) or a Knick (slang for shit). But I think I finally fully understand it out here now.

You see, back in the day, the Islanders used to wear these:

Now the fisherman guy sorta makes more sense in like New England or something, seeing as all the fish in New York City are contaminated with more lead than a Flint, Michigan native. But I recently discovered news that made the Fisherman make sense. New York City smells like fish! Old fish! Rotting fish!

When I first got in here there were bags of trash sitting all over the curbs everywhere. I figured it must have been garbage day. I was informed this was not the case. I then thought they maybe got all this trash out to embrace me and make me feel at home. Again, not the case. They just sort of leave trash every where. And it leaves a decidedly fishy smell.

Fisherman. Fish smell. It all makes sense. The wavy design is probably based of the piles of puke that freeze over. It was different era, the 90s. Back when jerseys meant something.

Prediction: Kings lose 5-3. I puke and it freezes before it hits the ground.

Sites visited: None really so far. There was a used MaxiPad just sitting on the sidewalk, which was sort of breathtaking in its own way.