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Kings Gameday: Cold front

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What have I done

Adam Hunger-USA TODAY Sports

It's fucking cold out here. Anyways, the Kings looked how I felt. They played bad. Blah blah blah. I'm on vacation in subzero stinky city U.S.A. Not much else to say so shut up and leave me alone.

rangers preview

Okay, fine. A post. Let's see...

So I got to check out America's favorite spot: Wall Street! It was a grand old time where a guy walked past me yelling about his five thousand dollar suit C'MON. I decided to leave after I felt like I wanted to hurl, and checked out Battery Park. This was another unfortunate decision seeing as it was like fifty degrees below zero, and every time the wind kicked up off the water I was having PTS flashbacks to Ithaca. The horror.

Brooklyn is about as stereotypical as you would imagine. However, I would still take a plethora of hipsters over a Long Island native, whose level of bro-ness reach lethal levels. Plus the guy wearing a sombrero and poncho was appropriating my culture. I am unaware if he had a twitter account available to shame.

As for the Barclay's Center itself....meh. It looks more bizarre than anything else from the outside. The sight lines weren't particularly great either. It seemed sorta small and the crowd was pretty far from a sell out. Beers were about twelve bucks a pop. So at the very least they got that going. They had like eight Jay-Z banners around the place, but when you own the place I guess you are allowed to do that.

And if you have ever complained about traffic out of Staples Center STOP. You can at least sit in a car, enjoy your own music, and be relatively private. Human traffic out of Brooklyn to like the lone subway station was comparable to the stampede scene in "The Lion King" except this probably smelled worse and these wildebeests flex at you while flipping you off.

Prediction: I suffer hypothermia, and die looking like Jack Nicholson at the end of "The Shining" while waiting in line to get into MSG. Kings lose 2-1.