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Ducks Gameday: Flames Gameday -- Breakin' Curses

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In which guest writer MikeFAIL makes a mistake and we don't bother to correct him. Ducks, Flames.

By Mike FAIL
9 comments / new
Matt Kartozian-USA TODAY Sports

[editor's note: please nobody tell Mike that today's game is in Calgary -- jer]

Hi friends, it me, the most anti-Anaheim Ducks person next to retired blogger Stace. It makes sense since we're twins, born in the same Duck hating womb that created us some years ago. It's hard to imagine a world where the Calgary Flames, a team I unfortunately hold dear to my heart cannot win a bloody game in the Honda Centre. At all. Ever.

The last time they won in Anaheim was January 19th, 2004. I was 15 at the time and just had my first kiss. Winter love was in the air in northern Canada, a place I still call home to to this day. Those fleeting memories I have of that awful display of affection I put up are similar to the Calgary Flames to this day:

  • We're both unsustainable at playing for a full 60 minutes
  • We both employ awful technique to try and achieve success
  • We both just suck
Still, nothing sucks as bad as the Anaheim Ducks, a team that regularly employs large adult sons who eat out of the dumpster.

One has to fathom how to this day and age Corey Perry has yet to choke on a tin can while feasting on trash. I'm certain the reason Ryan Getzlaf's scoring as been so bad has been a new form of hair treatment he has been using. The adverse side-effects have resulted in the hair growing inside of his turd-sized brain he has. I guess that's what you get for rubbing expired mayonnaise you found outside of the Honda Centre on your head.

BREAKING THE CURSE

Even as the Ducks sit third in the Trashcific, it's time we break the curse. That's why Flames fans have deployed a curse-breaker for today's game.
It's happening. Today is the day. God I hope it happens.

Ducks Flames Gameday

Calgary Flams @ Anaheim Colostomy Bags
Monday, Feb 15, 2016, 1:00 PM PST (2:00 PM MST)
The Honda Toilet, Los Angeles, CA

Prediction

Stalin's first five-year plan.

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