Kings Gameday: Whoops I've been busy

So I just got back from like five days of wandering around Manhattan like an Olsen twin in a zany comedy for kids. Needless to say, it's been tiring. So I may have forgotten/been too busy to write about the New Jersey Devils. Which makes sense seeing as no one remembered to watch that game, no one remembered watching that game, and the Kings don't remember playing that game. New Jersey in general kind of can be that way. Newark sort of reminds me of living in like Pomona in that you sort of hate it for whatever reason, and yet it has no discernible features. Enough about Jersey...

Since the Kings are out of the New York area and this is my last evening here, a little wrap up may be appropriate. First, the arenas:

Madison Square Garden!

The layout sort of blew my mind, in that you had to keep traveling upwards before you could even get to your seats. It was like five floors of escalators before getting to even the lowest levels. Arriving wasn't bad but leaving...eesh. If that place was on fire, no one is getting out. It was also bizarre because the rink was also built into a office tower more or less, and also had a massive train station/fast food mall underneath it. Easily the best one.

Prudential Center

For as mediocre as New Jersey was for like the four hours I was there, the Prudential Center was surprisingly tolerable. Mostly because the beer line was nonexistent, and the gals pouring them were crazy about me. The place also had this massive buffet of just fried shit in the middle of it, which is about as New Jerseyian as you get. It was freezing as fuck out there, and they pretty much did security and ticket scans outside. It seemed cruel. By the end of it I wanted to have an Alaskan Pipeline on hand just to beat someone over the head with.

Ugh. Barclays Center

For the newest arena, it fucking sucked donkey balls. The sight lines, even in the seats you could see the entire rink, were setup in a manner it resembled a movie theater from the 1930s. The lines for everything stretched back to Manhattan, and Brooklyn in general is sort of a glorified Santa Ana. Except pretentious. Anyways, I already went on about them. NOW FOR FOOD:

2 Bros - Good pizza. Very greasy. I was also drunk and don't really remember it.

Nine - Thai food. Also good. Super cheap drinks. Showed up at closing and they were still cool.

Kings Kitchen - I ordered a chicken bowl. You get ALL of the chicken here. You're not sure which parts. I had enough food to feed a family of eight. It was fifteen dollars.

Sofia's - Italian. They claimed it was homemade, super legit, and locals ate there all the time. I have no idea if this true, but hey it wasn't bad and our waiter looked like Dennis from It's Always Sunny.

Ajisen - Ramen. I really like noodles if you couldn't tell.

Shake Shack - It's the New York In-N-Out so I've been told, and it was indeed a tasty burger. I had a tasty burger and washed it down with a tasty beverage.

Applebee's - Ok I can explain this. It was right after the Islanders game, and the subway station was a clusterfuck petting zoo of bros and Snookis. I had to time to kill, so I went to Applebee's for a beer. I saw some random dude try to hit on a whole table of girls in the creepiest possible manner, so don't go to Applebee's I guess?

Taco Bell - Uh, I got hungry and tried the Quesalupa or whatever the fuck it's called. It was also en route to drinking and hanging out with a bunch of college girls at fashion school, so I think this gets me a pass and it was a pretty cool night.

Twins - There is no evidence I was ever here do not go through my twitter account. I had six Delirium beers for close to nothing. I may have been loudly singing along to the Smashing Pumpkins and the Goo Goo Dolls there also. Good thing I am leaving.

Agave - For thirty (THIRTY!) dollars you get food and bottomless liquor. They know you are there to get fucked up. FOR BREAKFAST. Or brunch if you're white enough. It's two hours of endless mimosas and I lost count. I also got a burrito the size of a small infant. It was wonderful.

Petee's Pie - This place you may have heard of and GO THERE NOW. IT'S LIKE NEW YORK CITY "TWIN PEAKS" AND WILL MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE AGENT COOPER. The owners are very cool too.

I guess I should have written about Justin Williams or Mike Richards but whatever. This blog is all about me after all. You're not here for hockey content.

Prediction: Kings lose 3-0 and I get diabetes.