Kings Gameday: Death

I think I have probably mentioned this before, but this is far and away my favorite bit of work from Earl Sleek. Now for the rest of everything awful...

Marian Gaborik is dead.

Anze Kopitar is deader than usual.

Matt Greene died a long time ago.

Jordan Nolan is dead.

Jonathan Quick is back from recently being dead, so mostly undead?

Me? Still not dead.

#LAKings rushes: 17-77-73, 13-44-22, 74-21-23, 70-15-49; 6-8, 27-52, 3-5. 53, 71 appeared to be extras. pic.twitter.com/RoH9R1xO0g

— Jon Rosen (@lakingsinsider) February 20, 2016

This is bad. Very bad. The second line is now the top line, which is okay. However the rest of the lineup is questionable and makes you seriously debate death. King, Shore, and Brown isn't terrible aside from being horrendously boring. That's a pretty good third line. Except the rest of the lines? Holy shit.

Clifford, Lecavalier, and Lewis? If that doesn't make you want to eat large sharp chunks of glass, I don't know what will. And as a second line! Lets rub some feces on that glass while we're at it I guess.

Andreoff centering Pearson and Mersch? Meh. Not bad for a fourth line, with the main issue being that Andy Andreoff is terrible. Beside from that, it's great! It's like having a sandwich with fresh bread, crisp produce, and rancid month old liverwurst.

I get with Kopitar being dead, the Kings don't have a lot of options. And since it's only been two days since Raccoon Jesus died, we still have to wait one more day before he resurrects. It's a lousy spot. Especially since the team is in Nashville, and cannot do a quick recall. Back in southern California they probably could demote Kevin Gravel for a game, and have Nic Dowd for a game instead of our Golden Gorilla. Probably wouldn't happen anyways since Darryl Sutter refuses to acknowledge Dowd's existence since he doesn't spell his name "Nick" properly. I can't really blame him.

Perfect world:

Lucic-Carter-Toffoli

(obvs)

Pearson-Shore-Mersch

(hustle, defense, and size that won't ever happen because Sutter does not trust any of them at all)

King-Dowd-Brown

(big, defensive, and utterly unwatchable)

Clifford-Lecavalier-Lewis

(crap, but you get Lecavalier limited, can use him on the power play, Lewis on the penalty kill, and Clifford inexcusably being used as the extra attacker in the last minute)

Andreoff

(nope)

Prediction: I get really drunk and watch the Kings lose 2-0.