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Sharks Gameday: An awful deal

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As bad a Toronto is, it's not "into the sun, twice." I was pretty clear on this.

Raffi Torres attempts a comeback after amputating his garbage knee.
Raffi Torres attempts a comeback after amputating his garbage knee.
Ezra Shaw/Getty Images

Bye Raffi. Somehow Doug Wilson got you bundled as part of a trade and shipped off to the Leafs. I'm against this trade, because I really, really wanted you launched into the sun, and then retrieved from the sun, and then launched into the sun again. Getting sent to the Leafs is more like being launched into Uranus.

But at least we got back...some garbage depth players and only had to send back 2 second round picks. Wait, what? No no no, Doug. You're supposed to ship off our garbage and get back second round picks. You capped us out for a Brendan Dillon replacement, which is stupid. Or you're going to trade Marleau, which is a firable offense.

Which leads me to...

Stalock watch, or the harbinger of DOOM

In the second game of a back-to-back last Friday, as part of a fairly long road trip, the expected goaltender would have been Alex Stalock. But hahaha he sucks so much, oh my god, so so much. So DeBoer played Martin Jones, who looked tired and wasn't very good. Because that's the better option for the Sharks.

The Sharks need a competent backup, not only because Alex Stalock is literally the worst goaltender in the NHL--look it up--but also because they can't afford to ride Jones into the dust for playoff positioning. They've pulled this shit before with Nabokov and Niemi: play your starter a shitload down the stretch to make sure your 1st round matchup is favorable. Sounds smart, right? Except your goalie is gassed and therefore your most important single player isn't sharp when the playoffs start.

That, friends, is why the Sharks have won a total of 1 game in the 3rd round during the decade in which they were an elite team. DOUG WILSON, DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR HISTORICALLY BAD BACKUP GOALTENDER.

Blues update

The Sharks play the Blues. Let's take a look at the Blues this season.

Garbage town.

Garbage fans.

A roster filled with skating piles of garbage plus Tarasenko.

Sharks @ Blues

5:00 PM Pacific

Prediction: It's an NBC Sports Network broadcast involving the Sharks. It's gunna suck. The scoreboard will run out of meth addict teeth they use to make the numbers.