Sharks Gameday: Replacing Michel Therrien with Michel Therrien

Montreal coach Michel Therrien is a pretty bad coach. He got dumped in Pittsburgh, and the team went on to win a Cup that season. That's how much they hated Michel Therrien.

Montreal is a weird franchise because they're an NHL team but they also feel they represent francophone Canada, which means they feel a special obligation to employ French-Canadian players, coaches, and executives. It's sort of like how the Kings have a special affinity for unbelievable assholes.

Given that they aren't going to fire Therrien unless they can find another French-Canadian coach, I thought I'd find them some candidates. And it's obvious, to me, that if you replace your coach with another coach with the same exact name, it'll save money. So here's some other Michel Therriens that would very likely do a better job than the current Michel Therrien:

Michel Therrien, hunting guide

Michel Therrien is a hunting guide in Quebec, and has a one hell of an eyesore of a website. The above image, hilariously titled confrontation-3.jpg in his gallery, shows that he's both bold and unclear on what he's supposed to be doing. This will make the transition easier for the players and management in Montreal. He's clearly a leader, since that's what guides do. If he provides hunting rifles for Montreal's undersized forwards, it may allow the Canadians to overcome the size advantage of other teams, and give them a false sense of power common among small guys really into guns.

Dr. Michel Therrien, Secretary of Evangelization and Catholic Education for the Diocese of Pittsburgh

I think this Michel Therrien is in charge of Catholic schools in western Pennsylvania or something. The press release is sort of confusing, including basically every stupid detail the writer could think of about this promotion:

An administrative assistant will now support the Secretary for Evangelization and Catholic Education. Of course, the newly-appointed Secretary for Evangelization and Catholic Education may determine to restructure his departments after time in his new position.

So, Dr. Therrien is flexible, and has the ability to choose assistants. All good qualities in a coach! Getting players to believe is something I hear coaches are supposed to do, and that's this guy's job. Good candidate.

Dr. Michel Therrien, G.P.

Another doctor, but this time a medical one. I don't speak French well enough to understand most of the reviews on his profile on ratemds.com, where I found this one. His overall rating of 3 1/2 stars is pretty good, and only brought down by this very angry patient who gave him 1 star across all categories:

Well, pal, you coach in the NHL, you're going to have a big ego. That's just the way it is. And while empathy is nice, it's not really required. And I'm going to grant you that he has a "lack of knowledge" since he's a medical doctor, but he'll learn. He's got to be better than the current Michel Therrien.

Canadiens @ Sharks

7:30 PM Pacific

Prediction: Marc Bergevin takes my advice and replaces Michel Therrien with Michel Therrien.