According to a blog entry on rentapplication.com hilariously titled "These are The Most Sexually Diseased Cities in the USA", St. Louis is the second most sexually transmitted disease ridden city in the US, just edged out by Montgomery, Alabama (Roll Tide!).
That's some good content right there. I always consult web sites for which city I should live, and staying free of chlamydia is a major factor in all my lease arrangements.
St. Louis has an STD rate of 1867.54 cases per 100,000 people, which is 1.9%. Given that an NHL roster is 23 people, that means that 0.44 members of the St. Louis Blue statistically have an STD. I'm going to round that up to one, because I'm an asshole and the BoC is not a peer-reviewed journal. Not since we had our accreditation revoked.
So, which St. Louis Blue probably has an STD? I have no real way of knowing, so I'm going to use my intuition, and an online anagram generator. I'll feed in the name of the player, and find the most STD-worthy anagram name.
Vladimir Tarasenko - Skindive Amoral Rat
Alexander Steen - Latexes End Near
David Backes - Vice Bask Add
Kevin Shattenkirk - Kinkier Thanks Vet
Paul Stastny - Salty Nut Asp
Alex Pietrangelo - Relaxing Atop Eel
Troy Brouwer - Woe Try Burro
Jori Lehtera - Jilt Hoe Rare
Colton Parayko - Okay Colon Trap
Robby Fabbri - Fir Bobby Bra
Jay Bouwmeester - Major Yes Ewe Tub
Dmitrij Jaskin - [amazingly, no anagrams can be made from his name]
Scottie Upshall - Cultists Hoe Pal
Patrik Berglund - Bankrupt Girdle
Joel Edmundson - Mojo Nude Lends
Carl Gunnarsson - Nuns Cargo Snarl
Magnus Paajarvi - Vajina Ajar Umps
Ty Rattie - Ye Tit Rat
Jaden Schwartz - Jaws Crazed Nth
Kyle Brodziak - Lazy Broke Kid
Steve Ott - Veto Test
Ryan Reaves - Nervy Areas
Robert Bortuzzo - Buzz Boot Terror
Jake Allen - Jake En All
Brian Elliott - Inertial Bolt
Well, that was easy. It's clearly Steve Ott aka Veto Test.
5:00 PM PST
Prediction: The Sharks avoid hitting Steve Ott because they don't want to get syphilis.