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Kings Gameday: Woozy

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Memories...or lack thereof

lol what a baby
lol what a baby
Thomas B. Shea/Getty Images

Today is a very important anniversary. One year ago I got concussed!

It was a very comical experience. Oh the laughs I had! Or was it a terrifying experience? I can't remember. Anyways, last year I decided to go to a Flogging Molly concert on St. Patrick's Day. Mistake number one, right? Then of course one elbow to my gigantic schnoz and forearm to my head later I was throwing up outside of a McDonald's. Other things I think occurred. I may have body checked a referee from behind. Again, I don't really remember.

As it so happens, our beloved Gary Bettman was spouting off yesterday about concussions. Someone mentioned the NFL is starting to finally own up to the reality that concussions are occurring, and it's seriously effecting their players. Gary responded with "hockey is different than football".

How right he is!

Hockey is played on ice for one. Football is played on grass, and occasionally plastic grass. Therefore hockey is cooler by definition. Hockey players also get the Stanley Cup first before the owners. Football players have to wait before their silver ball on stand is passed to them by their owner. As you can see, football has to take concussions far more seriously than hockey does.

Fail to see the connection that Gary means?

What he means is that football players cannot even be trusted with a trophy. The trophy first has to be cleared by the owners, who tediously make sure it is safe for the football players to hold. No wonder they need coddling to protect their precious "brains".

Not hockey players though! They lift that trophy (which is way bigger by the way) over their head like a bro at a gym enthusiastically getting his swole on. They do that with broken arms, missing guts, and damaged thinking boxes. They are far too tough to be stopped by owies to their head innards.

I'm surprised Gary just didn't come out and say what he really felt. Strut on out to the podium, Gar-Bear, look the audience in the eye, and say, "Football players are fucking pussies, yo." Not like it's going to damage the relationship the NHL has with women currently given the Patrick Kane scenario, his thoughts on Katy Perry chants, and overall general pandering marketing the league does for women anyways. Hey, maybe the NHL and NFL are more similar than we thought!

I think it's brave of Bettman to finally call the NFL out on its cowardice. Seriously, that "Concussion" movie comes out and football is suddenly all worried. What sort of league gets influenced by a movie?

Never mind.

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Prediction: The NHL adds more stationary exercise bikes to deal with concussions.