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Ducks Gameday: Actually, It's The Only Thing That Matters

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Best Coast Champions.

The one from 2015 must have fallen down or something.
The one from 2015 must have fallen down or something.

For years now, Kings fans have claimed that the regular season doesn't matter, that only the playoffs matter. Kings fans, being notorious for their proud ignorance, failed to see the obvious flaw in this logic (until it smacked them on one of their double chins last season).

At any rate, tonight is likely to decide the division champions. Though both teams have a game left after today, this is the one that really matters. It all comes down to this, and other such cliches.

If Anaheim claims the Pacific Division Championship, it's it'll be the fourth season in a row. But as we all know, after dominating the lesser teams all season long, The Ducks are always too burned out for the playoffs and it all comes crashing down and we lose a-goddamn-gain in a game 7 after a 2 game lead in the series and //breaks down sobbing//

Ahem, excuse me. Anyway, these past years have taught me some things. Mainly, I learned from our friendly Sharks fans, with an even more impressive playoff failure streak, that the playoffs simply don't matter. Like good true blooded Americans, we should just steal some shit from European and follow the Soccer tradition of recognizing excellence in the real season and skip these soul crushing playoffs altogether.

And on that note, Congrats, Washington Capitals! Our 2015-16 Real Life Champions of the Season That Matters™

Meanwhile, after the Ducks' inevitable claim to the Pacific Division Championship, and Stanley Cup Playoffs crash and burn cycle, we can all be satisfied knowing that Anaheim is one again the leaders of the only Division in hockey that actually matters.

Plan the parade.

Ducks Gameday

Anaheim Ducks @ Los Angeles Kings

Thursday, Apr 7, 2016, 7:30 PM PDT

Staples Center - Los Angeles, CA

Prediction

Kings actually end up winning anyway.