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Run the jewels on these fools

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Time for the Sharks to steal a Cup.

I deal in dirty work do the deed then dash, ditch 'em.
I deal in dirty work do the deed then dash, ditch 'em.

So the Sharks have lost a couple close games in Pittsburgh, but they'll be on home ice, they're confident, and DeBoer can tweak his matchups with last cha-

FUCK.

Ok, well.

This isn't really a matter of playing well to reestablish our game. Time to punk these motherfuckers. The Sharks need to steal a Stanley Cup.

It's going to take contributions from every single remaining member of the Sharks. Martin Jones, Brent Burns, Matt Nieto. Everybody. Joe Thornton has eyes on the back of his head. Pavelski and he work together so well, so they're going to be the key players.

I'm not talking about hockey. I'm talking about the Sharks roster physically stealing the Stanley Cup from the handlers, and bailing. Lay low for a couple months somewhere quiet. Don't go out. Use distant family and friends to get them food and necessities. Throw away their phones, and only communicate verbally with the most trusted confidants.

It's going to take discipline, teamwork, execution, and control over their emotions. But they're so close to the Cup, it might be their only opportunity.