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Judas Donkey is my hero

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Judas Donkey, hero
Judas Donkey, hero
Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images

Judas Donkey, a Finnish free-agent who magically got turned into a Sharks prospect by inattentive hockey writers, saved the Sharks season when he decided to shoot into the corner of the net instead of directly into the triangle on Matt Murray's chest, a novel strategy that that Sharks might consider as the series progresses.

2016 NHL Stanley Cup Final - Game Three Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images

Thanks, Judas!

Many internet wits have commented about Murray's acne, but has anyone talked about how this 22 year old looks older than me?

Adrian Brody
Adrian Brody, goaltender
Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images

Let's talk about how shitty the ice was in game 2: it was shit, the ice. I honestly couldn't tell which team's game suffered more, but those ice conditions makes guys who are trying to make plays look bad (hi, Joe Thornton! and thanks for the 2 assists, by the way).

Other than that, I am still croaking like a frog after yelling "FUCK YES!" for 20 minutes after that OT goal. And also because I was in Tahoe for a bachelor party, and my delicate, sensitive brain and body has been treated quite poorly.

Anyway, tonight's game is the 22nd consecutive most important game in franchise history. If they win, "it's a whole new series." Well, not really. It's the same series, but it will just go longer. If they lose, there's very little hope. I'm in favor of winning this one, personally.

Penguins @ Sharks

5:00 PM Pacific

Prediction: Mike Sullivan scoffs at the ref for calling an unambiguous high stick that draws blood. "I just want to know what is and isn't a penalty," he'll say, and actually mean it.