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Sadistic Schedulers

The worst road trip ever

Los Angeles Kings v New York Islanders
uh k
Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images

After a really lackadaisical homestand where the Kings squandered opportunities to move up in the standings to try and clamp down on a playoff spot, they are now floundering on the road. Or are set to. Sure, they haven’t played a game already, but they’ve looked pretty meh all year really.

Also this is the road trip from hell.

It’s a swing through New York, except here’s the thing: Only the Rangers are worth a damn anymore in that area. The Islanders have returned to New York’s fuck up little brother (like the younger brother from “Bloodline”) and the Devils are the least successful boring ass team with success known to man. Oh, and there is also a stop in Carolina to play against America’s least memorable team the...Cyclones? Sugar Canes? Something like that.

In either case, the Kings need points, and they need points badly. These are teams where for the most part they should be more than capable of picking up some wins. Unfortunately the Kings have a bit of a track record lately of playing down to opponents, so keep the bourbon handy.

In fact, I’d like to suggest just binge drinking for a few days instead of watching this team trip over themselves against teams who I forget exist. But I am not mad. No. This is funny. Especially to me, because I can fully appreciate this humor. HA. HA HA. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Prediction: Kings get shutout by old friend J.F. Berube and lose in a shootout.