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Anaheim Ducks v San Jose Sharks
Matt Nieto, minor criminal mastermind
Photo by Don Smith/NHLI via Getty Images

Matt Nieto was put on waivers by Doug Wilson yesterday, and claimed by Guy Ritchie to be cast as one of a ragtag group of East End safe-cracking lowlifes looking to make one more score before retiring to the Costa del Sol. But will things go hilariously and violently wrong? Production on “Cor Blimey, In’t It?” will begin in February. We wish Nieto luck on his new venture, even thought I pretty much know how the movie ends for him, because he was never able to score.

I don’t know what the Long Beach Visitors Bureau will do now that they won’t get mentions every time he touches the puck.

The Minnesota “Wild” come to town

Oh boy. These guys.

I’d feel better about Zack Parise, Coach Exterminator, having a terrible year except I noticed that Charlie Coyle is their leading scorer. That is annoying, except I then remembered that we have Brent Burns and don’t have to rely on Devan Dubnyk for our wins, and also are in California, and know how to eat things other than old tin cans, and don’t have to support Miko Koivu’s uncountable illegitimate children with our tax dollars. That made me feel better.

“Wild” @ Sharks

7:30 PM Pacific

Prediction: Nieto’s hands are accidentally blown off by a red-faced man in a track suit named Liam, and replaced by a set of bricks.