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This fucking guy.
This fucking guy.
Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images

New Jersey gets a raft of shit for a lot of things. Toxic waste. The cast of “Jersey Shore”. Being boring.

I have to say, though, that they do not get enough shit for having elected Chris Christie. Twice!

He currently has a very nice disapproval rating of 69%, which is I guess a point in favor for you all. But still.

I was watching the Godfather the other day, because it’s fall and the Godfather is legally required to be on one of TBS, AMC, or Spike every weeknight during the autumn. Chris Christie is the kind of guy who watches the Godfather movies for tips. He thinks he’s Vito Corleone, but is actually Fredo. I mean, for fuck’s sake he repeatedly ate shit in public while stumping for Trump so he could be Vice President, didn’t get it, and then got stuck chairing the shitty inauguration ball committee or whatever, and failed out of that too.

Big tough guy Don Chris Christie got clowned by the dumbest, least strategic political candidate we’ve ever seen. Trump practically used him as a human kleenex. And he went back for MORE. It’s embarrassing.

And he’s in charge of a US state. Still!

Paul Martin Doppelganger Watch

Some of you saw this on my Twitter feed already, but it bears repeating. Paul Martin is fucking weird.

Paul Martin the result of a regrettable hookup between a hobbit and Cate Blanchett’s cousin.

He’s an Edward Sheeran body double who’s not fooling anyone.

He’s a leprechaun who went through medieval rack torture, then let himself go.

Come back soon, Paul. We miss you.