Oh hi everyone. Did you know the Dodgers are in the World Series? You probably heard. But this isn’t so much about them right now. Sure, there’s a billion articles and blogs and loud overweight men on the radio yelling about the Dodgers, but we are losing sight of something far more important in the natural order of life.
The Cubs are back where they belong.
There has been no team more associated with losing and disaster than the Cubs. The Red Sox came close, but now they have won multiple times and everyone hates them and we burn with the desire to see them fuck up and cheer their mishaps. Chicago was walking that line. In 2003 when the Red Sox and Cubs could have played each other for the World Series, that would have been special. Maybe we wouldn’t be where we are today.
But it didn’t happen.
And Chicago is flirting with being Boston v.2.
The Cubs had universal appreciation for being the lovable losers. Without the losing, what are they? Nothing, but a loud mouth insufferable insane bunch with goofy accents. Sounds sort of familiar to a certain American League East team?
But they’re beaten now. And hopefully beaten again soundly next year. Because those are the Cubs we know and love. And deep down, that’s what their fans love about them too. Lest they become Cub Sox. No one wants to be that. Be true to yourself.
Dodgers fans are the crazy drunks, but who have to beat traffic.
Giants fans are fair-weather virgins.
Angels fans either are douche bag bros and AARP members.
Cardinals fans are racists.
And you, you formerly-loved-still-salvagable Cubs fans, are losers. Go back to being what you are. You’re welcome.
Though you’re still better than Boston, New York, and St. Louis. Don’t push it however.
Oh yeah the Kings. Uh...They’re playing well! But they cut Jeff Carter into pieces. He’s now on injured reserve. Inexplicably that still doesn’t have Nic Dowd in the lineup.
Sonny Milano sucks.