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Oh my god just go away

Seriously fuck off Ottawa

Elite champion

Tonight the Kings play against the Seattle Senators of Ottawa. No one will watch this game, and it’s not because the Dodgers are playing their first World Series game in 29 years at the same time. No one will watch the game because it involves the Seattle Senators. Despite featuring a matchup between the 2016 Norris Trophy runner-up Karl Eriksson and the much more deserving 2016 Norris Trophy winner Drew Doughty, the attendance tonight might be so low that the Senators have to remove another 1,500 seats from the arena. I wonder if they’ll preserve them to install in their brand new arena in Seattle.

It’s truly a burden to write anything about the Senators. Why can’t I just write about an interesting team with a brighter future, like the Maple Leafs or the Hurricanes or the Winnipeg Jets (1972-1996)? Writing about the Senators makes people go crazy, crazy enough to give Tom Preissing five Norris Trophy votes. On the other hand, all Los Angeles writers dole out their Norris votes correctly: to Drew Doughty.

In conclusion, the Kings should have an easy game with the Seattle Senators, who had an easier route to the semi-finals last year than the 2017 Cubs.

Prediction

Dodgers in 6