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Battle(ofCali)Ship: Jets Edition

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Let’s see what Sharks can do against these Jets.

Remember how Alex was going to ask Chicken Burrito's dad for permission to marry his daughter? Well, he's being a big baby about it and doesn't want to do it now, one of the reasons being it's a dumb obsolete tradition, so I'll give him points there. Stone's pumping him up to go do it when the face kicking Japanese dude comes up for no reason. Well, the reason is to get under Alex' skin and it works perfectly. Rihanna and Todd are bantering, they have good on screen chemistry, Todd's dumb southern shtick is a great foil for Rihanna's urban sass.

Chicken Burrito still calls her dad daddy, but Liam Neeson is her dad, so really, he is 100% a daddy. He glowers over in Alex' direction and young Hop runs away to the bathroom. He starts splashing water on his face and talking to himself in the mirror to pump himself up because everyone does that, right? In walks Nagata (Japanese face kicker) and they get into a little tussle because Alex seemingly hates everyone in the world but Chicken Burrito. Nagata and Alex get taken in to see Admiral Neeson and tell a clearly fabricated story about slipping on the floor and falling into each other like Jerry Lewis.

He did just say Jerry Lewis

Admiral Neeson holds Hopper back to talk with him, there's a Homer quote (not Simpson you dumdums) that Alex finishes and Liam speaks for everyone when he says that the fact Hopper knows that infuriates him because dollars to donuts, Hopper has never read a book in his life. Liam again makes is clear that Tiny Hop has great promise, but he's wasting his life away by being so arrogant and stubborn. It's like they're setting up some sort of redemptive arc for Hopper in this story. Liam also casually notes that this may be Alex' last RIMPAC games. Wonder what he means by that?

AC/DC start blasting and we've got big ships in the water in formation! The real RIMPAC games are upon us. What does RIMPAC stand for? Fuck if I know, but it's basically super high tech tag with ships and planes and rock music. We see some battleships and destroyers and other boats from the board game (remember that this movie is based on a board game?). The two Hopper brothers are leading different groups of individuals with drastically different styles. One is calm and encouraging while the other is all about kicking ass and taking names. I'll leave you to figure out which is which.

Oh damn, I forgot that Rihanna compares Mini Hopper to Donald Trump and Mike Tyson because of his hot headed bravado. As the games begin, the characters that we've been introduced to already all seem to be with Alex, while Stone is talking to a group of faceless men. I hope that if anything happens it doesn't portend doom for one of those groups.

RiRi, this line is too real.

Stone and Alex meet up and it's bad news for Alex. He's going to be kicked out of the Navy, I guess that's what Admiral Neeson meant. Stone says Alex has so much talent and potential but he can't get through to him and that makes Stone so sad. What a good brother. I hope they're together for a long time after this movie.

The Sharks and Jets square off tonight. There were jets shown in this part of the movie and, uh, Sharks live in the ocean the boats are on so this write-up might be the most on brand yet. The Sharks have been struggling to score goals because the refs keep taking them away. They also have been struggling because they're not very good.