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Honda NHL Four Line Challenge
AAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH
Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images

Serious question here. How do you cope with all the scary, insane things coming out literally every hour of the day? It’s like having a series of bursting pipes filled with STUPID and POINTLESS and EVIL. I just want to go do my kids science fair and cook dinner for my wife and write dumb-ass shit about hockey and see my friends and make stuff out of wood.

And the motherfuckers KNOW THIS. They want me beaten down and confused and apathetic. They’d be delighted if they could just implement every terrible and undemocratic idea they’ve ever had without anyone complaining, but they also don’t care about people complaining either.

So, for real. How do you have a normal life in the face of this shit?

Cory Watch, week 3.

Cory surfaced briefly to send me this important tweet:

NAZI FURRIES. Je. Sus. The internet was a gigantic mistake. We should all go back to REPRESSING EVERY SINGLE DESIRE and making it hard to communicate with people not physically nearby and being shamed about our hangups, because it led us to NAZI FURRIES.

No.

The Canucks

Slightly better than NAZI FURRIES, but not by all that much, are the Vancouver Canucks. They’re not a good team, which was entirely predictable, but their GM is a knob and went ahead with that roster anyway. To even get to this point was a lot of work, carefully destroying it over the course of a half decade.

Sharks @ Canucks

7:00 PM Pacific

Prediction: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh